The Psychology of Effective Virtual Selling

Dheeraj Prasad: Brian, how are you doing today?

Brian Koehn: Doing really well. How are you doing? Dheeraj.

Dheeraj Prasad: Very good. So you are in sunny California, right?

Brian Koehn: I am. It’s a sunny day.

Dheeraj Prasad: Absolutely. So I know we were all going through very difficult times to talk a little more about how you and your family are doing at this time of the covid 19 pandemics?

Brian Koehn: Yeah, I mean, it's, gosh, that's a good question. You know, my wife's going back to school right now. And she was just starting to go back to school, right, as the pandemic was starting. So the social distancing, and we've actually discovered, we were living our life kind of socially distant as it was. So it hasn't been a massive, massive impact on us. But I'll tell you, just like I think everyone else, I mean, you have your highs, and you have your lows. And I've been faring really, I've been faring pretty well, and being trying to be a leader and being optimistic and leading and guiding people through this time. But that takes a toll as well, which I'm feeling actually a little bit today. But it's been good. It's been primarily good just because of that. But it is challenging at the same time.

Dheeraj Prasad: Absolutely Brian. So I know you've been very passionate about the aspect of emotions in building bridges and building relationships, specifically in a transactional sales process that we've been used to talk. So talk a little more about how it all get started. And a little bit about your background as well, Brian, would be great for our viewers.

Brian Koehn: Sure, you know, what I talked about my background and how I got to this point, I typically have to point back to when I was in second grade, I had a school teacher tell my mom that there was something wrong with me, and that there wasn't going to go away, and that she needed to figure out, really figure out a plan because I was different. And then there was something happening and I couldn't focus, I was daydreaming I was reading. I was reading people and I was seeing different things. And it turned out that I got diagnosed with ADD and kind of a bad case. But it was a strange case because I was also kind of high-performing in other areas. And then what ended up happening. Coming to interesting stories. I was dealing with a psychologist and, like psychologists at one point, was talking to me, and I just was like, Hey, are you having a bad day today. And he was like, who is this young child that's reading me like, like a book and asked me if I'm having a bad day? I totally took him by surprise. And I've just had this gift somehow around human emotion. And I've just been able to read people and situations and kind of bringing it into sales. It’s always been actually semi distracting for me to be able to read people in body language and scenarios to the extent that I have. But then I decided instead of just having an intuitive gift. I wanted to really develop out of sheer curiosity to try to figure out how I'm going to fit into the world. Because I want to just understand myself a little bit more, I just didn't feel like I fit very well even from that experience or second grade all the way until, you know, I feel good now, but it took a while. So just reading human behavior, reading psychology, trying to understand, I ended up getting into some sales roles very early on that are similar to door-to-door where I've literally talked to 10,000 strangers, and I've randomly been able to talk to them. And it's given me a lot of experience to read people read body language to understand, predict patterns and then I combine that with enormous amounts of studies and some transformational neuro coach in the certified mat. And I've spent a lot of time reading about human behavior, cognitive biases, neurobiology, psychology, personal development, leadership, all that stuff. And what that's done is it's led me to have a really interesting perspective on sales because I'll take more of neuroscience or psychological or behavioral science approach to sales, and also remembering the emotions forward in a sales process and help salespeople tap into the emotions within themselves. So they can better relate to others.

Dheeraj Prasad: Absolutely, and can’t be a better time than this, you know, where individuals when they are working remotely, you know, in a very challenging environment in a deep recessionary economy. They're also going through their own side of emotions and customers are going through their own side of emotions. So how do you translate that into a framework? I know you've talked a lot about the four C's. Talk a little more about the framework Brian.

Brian Koehn: Yes are the four C's are something I created to help people sell through COVID-19 and into the new normal DICOM and the first C has to do with what's called calibration. And in order to be a successful salesperson right now, you need to calibrate yourself first before you reach out and try to help someone else and calibrating yourself might be trying to find it's sometimes it's just a matter of courage. I'm going to have courage because I want to be a leader in my own family, in my own life and in business. I want people to, I want to be remembered in this time that I was leading. And I want to make a difference when the difference matters, right? When we when, it matters, what I say and what I do and how I behave. And calibrating is a part of that. And you know, I found even recently, even how you dress can make a difference I found if I dress I'm wearing jackets, lots of people are inspired. Or especially right now we're in the middle of the crisis still and the more optimism and the more charisma that you can have not like fake charisma, it's you got to have a spirit of authenticity, but by calibrating and having that courage, and being willing to be a leader that can really help you be able to connect, which is the second seat with the prospect. And the first one is to calibrate yourself. The second one is to calibrate to your prospect. And the best way to calibrate to your prospect, in my opinion right now and in the future, is to think about what are they going through? And what do they ultimately want to feel, and what they're going through the same thing, you're going through the same thing I am, and we want to feel a sense of hope, a sense of possibility, you know, we all have a magnetic draw towards the news right now, we have a magnetic draw towards the despair, towards the fear. And let's actively understand that and know that as much as there's a magnet of drops, that there's also hope and a desire that people have within them to see a bright light. And let's calibrate to that and say, How can I make this person feel a sense of new possibility or a sense of hope for their future. And then now we're calibrating I know that this particular person, they're looking for some certainty, they're looking for a little infusion of confidence, they're looking for an exchange of energy with somebody that has positivity, that's what they want. And I'm willing to take action and call somebody or meet with them and know that, hey, even if that's all I do, I've made a difference in that person's life, maybe you know, like to their family right now by infusing a little bit optimism and hope and a brighter future for them. So that's what you bring into connecting that step two.

Dheeraj Prasad: Great, allocate. So given the fact that you know, empathy is, is not very easy to get specific, you know, when one is trying to do this through virtual methods, what are some of the things which technology can do apart from the fact that you know, it's a part of individual readiness to enter a mindset, as you also mentioned, which will be authentic, for customers to really feel that sellers are deeply connected, and understand the pain points. One other associated question I have for you, Brian, is that customers are very clearly now differentiating between what is a must-have? And what is good to have? And what are discretionary items, which they are completely pushing out? So as a seller, apart from just the emotional side, how do they really understand what are the things which are must-have as a part of how they position themselves in the whole buying process, which will make the engagement much stronger?

Brian Koehn: It's good questions. And the first one is developing empathy. You know, I think you can't have empathy if you're not empathetic towards yourself. And the best way to, like I shared earlier, is to figure out what somebody else is feeling, which is empathy, right? And it's just to truly care what other people think or what they're feeling to truly care what their feeling is, is it to truly think about and embrace what they're feeling? That’s my interpretation of empathy. And you can't do that if you're bottling up your own feelings and that's where I hesitated when I shared earlier about calibrating. Let's be optimistic and stuff. Well, if you're not, it is okay, by the way, to bring a little sadness to the table. You know, I'm feeling personal. I shared with you early I'm having a little bit of a low point today. I've been reading I've been helping him talking to a major company. But it's okay to bring a little sadness. And in fact, if you have a little sadness or a little grief, it's something that if you bring it to the table, people will meet you there in. Being human is the path to getting through this crisis and truly connecting with someone, in my opinion. So when I talk about calibrating, sometimes it's okay. How can I be optimistic? Although I'm sad, or although I'm exhausted, how can I still carry that on it is not bottling it up and pretending that it's not there. So the challenge was sales. Sometimes as we've been taught to bottle things up, we've been taught to, to compartmentalize and to not, it's something that self-taught and it's culturally in the sales in the sales world, which is why salespeople man, sometimes you the longer someone has been in sales doesn't mean they're big, getting better every year. Sometimes they can actually get worse every year because of the baggage and because of the disconnection from who they are. It can be a very painful path. So I encourage people to continue to discover the emotions that they're feeling on a regular as because if you continue to discover and embrace your own emotions, you will immediately be able to better relate to other people. And better, you'll pick up little things because people will they'll call out to you in a meeting, and they'll give the flash a feeling or a safe, say something, or they'll say it in a way. And you because you're connected to your own feelings. And let's just be honest, that we need to get better at that. Now we'll connect there so we can talk about it help. And by the way, when you're doing that, when you're truly connecting, and you're talking about feelings, and you're having a bigger conversation than just the business, you can, you can start to build some latitude where you can have more real authentic conversations about is this a nice to have or need to have. And one of the reasons that I like emotion so much in selling is when you create a stronger connection, it gives you know, if a transactional sale is a one-dimensional relationship sale, we are truly connected as three dimensional. And now you have all sorts of other angles to be able to relate to someone have a really honest conversation. I was just on a call actually miss the same thing was occurring where there was a question, and it was it's something you need to have or is it it is a must-have. And you know, people right now they're so overwhelmed that their brains are having a harder time wrestling with that question. And it's important for you as a salesperson to be able to have the strategic thinking to see what somebody else needs and maybe the pitfalls that their overwhelmed brain might fall into. There's a bias called the substitution bias. And it's also known as this the simple point, the single point of truth bias where things are overwhelming, people will then go well, Which color do I like the best or which company has the best logos, or hey, that one looks easier. So I'm just going to use that one, even though down the road, it's not as scalable or whatever. So it's important as a salesperson that you can start to become aware of if somebody is overwhelmed, and they're likely to have a bias and just boil everything down unconsciously because of a bias, they don't know that it's occurring. But if they're having that happen, you have to try to guide them through asked very skilled questions to say, you know, in terms of this solution you're looking for, or this result that you're ultimately looking through to receive, you know, it will not have to have a more specific example to give you the exact script on it. But you might say, what would you say is more important to you, ultimately? Is it this little thing like you like how this looks? Or are you looking for a solution that's going to be a great fit in the next 24 months, it's going to be scalable, and it's going to have all the things that you need later, or you just want something that's easier to learn right now, what would be the thing that you think would be appropriate for you to make as far as a decision is, do you want to optimize for now? Or do you want to optimize for the next three years? Well, either way, it's fine. And you want to do it in a non-judgmental way. And either way is totally great. I totally see the merit in optimizing for right now or whatever. So the next answer, the question, I would say is you can't present anything unless you find what's really the problem. You know, like yesterday, I was talking to somebody, and they didn't have a big enough problem. So I just shot through the call because if somebody doesn't have a big problem, don't waste your time, especially right now. And probably, unfortunately, for the rest of this year, and maybe even the next year, and maybe the one I don't know. But they've got to have a real problem. Otherwise, you got to move on, in my opinion, if they have a real problem. Now, the decision is what's the right fit. And that's where you can get in that substitution bias. Now, you can ask some scope questions if you see there's a real problem that they have. And they do not see it. Now you can use some of that empathy and some of the connection to help them become aware of that big problem. But those are just some of the things that come to mind on connecting with people. And then essentially, what I'm hearing is how to still persuade them. But the other thing I'll add is not to waste people's time, or not waste your time.

Dheeraj Prasad: That's a great point. One of the things which I'm also hearing is about sales fatigue that buyers are experiencing, specifically at this time, a lot of pitches being made, etc. What would be your advice to actually D fatigue? If I could use that terminology for buyers during the pandemic times?

Brian Koehn: Well, I think the fatigue ultimately is coming from transactional relationships. I think even in this COVID crisis, I think people are seeing the truth about life and reality a little bit more clearly. And I think, you know, people are just starting to recognize how little value there is in a trend in transactional relationships in general. I mean, all of us we're seeing even within our personal friends and family members, we're seeing different things happening and we're seeing people in new bytes and just think generally there's an overall macro trend happening where transactional anything is starting to be a little bit repulsive. So the key is to you've heard this phrase before in sales, but a trusted adviser isn't necessarily trying to sell a product. They’re trying to make sure that they're helping that person get to make the right thing happen for them. And even if that means they need to not buy the product, and quite often if you're truly ethical, they will come to the point where you are trying to help them will involve them buying your product or service. But that is, no one should ever feel that they should feel that you just have their back and you're just trying to connect with them as a human, and you're just being vulnerable and being authentic, and you're asking them to be authentic, that I think alone will help reduce some of the fatigue to not show up in a transactional way. If we were our business mask right now that we've been wearing over the past five years, we're immediately going to trigger a transactional relationship. So I would encourage salespeople to stop repressing the parts of them that make them unique and start bringing out some of those more quirky, nuanced parts of who they are, or bring out some of their sadness, or some of their anger, or some of their grief and some of their opinions. You know, if you're angry right now, maybe you can use it in the sales process, you can even say like, and have an opinion and be like, I'm really upset. This keeps happening. And this problem and these companies are doing this, and it's really pissing me off right now. And then you don't want to give too much negative energy, but you can use those things. And I just encourage salespeople to be more raw and be more real, be more authentic in order to give a real experience to somebody, what people are looking for something real right now, that's what they want, something real. And if you're wearing a mask or being transactional, it's fake. So the more real you can be, the more powerful you'll be at being able to D fatigue and actually create a result for someone else.

Dheeraj Prasad: Absolutely. And videos like this, which actually cut down boundaries immensely, is also a very powerful way by which you communicate, and there are some technology solutions around that as well. Where you one can actually humanize the conversation much better in an animated manner, by posting your views, I think could be a very powerful way to build relationships.

Brian Koehn: Yeah, and when you're meeting remotely to just to, you want to make sure you're animating yourself, right. Like I could be sitting here and just doing an interview like this. And, you know, if you're not meeting in person, you have to give some energy over your videos or so that's the animation is what you said animating, that's what people need to see.

Dheeraj Prasad: Absolutely. Thank you so much, Brian. I think great inputs. Just to recap, it's really about calibration, connecting, humanizing the relationship, being animated about it, and not have any inhibitions about expressing one's emotions. You know, it's fair at this time to tell that they had a bad day, you know, they were fearing they had a lot of anxiety. And it's all acceptable because everybody is going through this. And this is something which will help to build much more deeper relationships with customers. Thank you so much, Brian once again. And if our viewers need to reach out to you, what's the best way that they can actually do so?

Brian Koehn: Yeah, I'm pretty active on LinkedIn. So I would just recommend if somebody wants to reach out, I'd love to meet you. Or if you want to see some of the content that I create. Brian kohen on LinkedIn, Koehn is my last name and I would love to connect.

Dheeraj Prasad: Thank you so much. You have a great day ahead, Brian and have a lovely weekend. And I look forward to catching with you again soon. Thank you so much.